Balancing family and career
Bonnie J. Walker
The reality is balance between work and family life is a myth. Rather, there is an ebb and flow. Achieving balance between the two doesn't necessarily mean the time is split evenly.
Instead, being flexible enough to lean more into work, and other times to lean more into family, as needed.
The balance is giving intentional focus and making a valiant effort to show up by being present and giving your best wherever you are.
In my experience as a career women with a family, the challenge and the ultimate imposition is the expectation I ought to work as if I did not have a husband and children, while sustaining my marriage and raising my children as if I did not have a career.
Given this conundrum, here is my advice on how to maintain some semblance of balance.
Commit to your choices
If you have chosen (or life has chosen for you) to be a career person and a parent and/or partner, commit!
Don't waste any time wishing your situation was different, or feeling guilty about it; that's a waste of time. If you don't like it, change it; otherwise, make the best of your work and family life.
Whatever is important to you is what you give attention to. Align your life with what you value, and make what you value your priority.
If you don't do this, you will always feel out of synch.
Set boundaries
When at home/with family, focus on family and when at work, focus on work.
Stay organized, plan ahead, and set goals aligning with your priorities; the boundaries are set therein.
If your job is demanding, whereby you must work after you leave the office, set time and space to work at home, with least interruption to your family.
There are times when work and family time must bleed into one another, but the goal is to keep them separate.
Practice wellness
Be positive. Practice gratitude. Eat healthy and nutritious food to sustain your energy. Exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.
If you don't take care of yourself, you won't have enough left to give to your family and career. De-stress and try to stay relaxed.
Let go of perfectionism
Giving your best is enough. This said, your best might not meet your expectations all of the time.
Forgive yourself! I have forgiven myself a number of times for being the last mommy to pick my son up at daycare – even after he scolded me, expressing his disapproval.
Ask for help. It takes a village.
You cannot do it all; and if you can, at what expense?
Rally your friends, family, loved ones to help you with the lift of having a family and a career.
Also, pay for help as needed/as you can.
Don't compare yourself to others
Comparing yourself to others is the easiest way to feel bad about yourself, even if you are a rock star!
Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on doing the best you can with what you have and accept it as enough.
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